why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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