Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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