I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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