Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
