i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
