I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize