Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
