I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
