We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
