So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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