which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Someone signed my nipple.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
