I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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