Will you blow on my dice?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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