im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
