i wish peter jackson would direct porn
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
