There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
