You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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