I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
