he was CRYING into my vagina
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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