Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
