You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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