Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Randomize
