I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
