Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her

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(727): View more from Florida

He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...

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(318): View more from Louisiana

That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well

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(803): View more from South Carolina

at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear

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(651): View more from Minnesota

They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.

(1-336): View more from North Carolina

Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.

(336): View more from North Carolina

Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.

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