Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
