its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
