i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
