can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
