I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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