Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
im holly from the hills drunk
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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