how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
