I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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