go do what you do best...puke behind churches
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
A+ Viking dick
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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