I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
