I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
This house was built for laser tag.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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