definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
