this boner is exhausting
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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