Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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