After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
