He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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