she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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