Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
