I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just pee around me
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
