the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Less talking, more tequila
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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