Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
please come you make the beer taste better
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
