the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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