How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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