I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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