i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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