after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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