I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I think I sprained my soul last night
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
