think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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