i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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