Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
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