There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
