we have officially lost it.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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